Monday, November 9, 2009

Nine.

Roots!
The funny limbs that grow underground
That keep you from falling down
Don't you think that you'll need them now?

Just find a place where no one knows of your redneck past
Yeah, you can easily dispose of your redneck past
You'll show them all back home
(Ben Folds Five)


Home. I was asked to write about home today. Which is good, because I don’t think my perception of “home” falls in line with the general assessment of the idea. Which might be something along the lines of…

Four walls, a roof, a door, some windows

Just a place to run when my working day is through
They say home is where the heart is
If the exception proves the rule, I guess that's true
(Dixie Chicks)


“Where are you from?” is always such a strange question for me to correctly answer. I spent 18 years in Alabama, 6 in North Carolina, and have resided in New York for just over 3. My roots are in Bama, my heart is in Carolina, and my body currently resides somewhere in the concrete chaos of the great Northeast. Where I am from isn’t as important as where I am going.

New York is not my home
(Jim Croce)


I guess for me, home is what I’m constantly working towards. Home is not only my past (yes, my redneck past), but it's very much in the here and now and absolutely driving me around the next corner.

Homeward bound,

I wish I was,
Homeward bound,
Home where my thought's escaping,
Home where my music's playing,
Home where my love lies waiting
Silently for me.
(Paul Simon)


Less physical, more spiritual, and certainly whatever it is my soul craves.

Do you wonder where the self resides?
Is it in the head or between your sides?
And who would be the one who will decide
Its true location?
(Andrew Bird)


The point of it all is that I’m still building my ideal home. In the interim, I already am, somehow, home. My friends and their love and God and a hot pink bedroom and the subway and my work? Also my home. Perhaps such is the way of this particular wanderlust.

Me and my girlfriends are crazy little cats
We hang around wonderin’ where our man is at
We drink beer from our thumb-dented cans
We are angels in the dying summer light
And nobody’s dreams are bigger than ours
We got lipstick and legs crossed and girlish little charms
And we use ‘em like lures till it’s lonely and dark
And we want babies, soft and sweet in our arms
(Lindsey Horne – For My Girls)


For now, this is home. And it’s a good one, but it only makes me more excited for the new shell I’ll move into someday. I hope it has a strong foundation and bright walls and is anything but lonely. Somehow, I’m not too worried.

And if you take of my soul

You can still leave it whole
With the pieces of your own you leave behind
We came for salvation
We came for family
We came for all that's good, that's how we'll walk away
We came to break the bad We came to cheer the sad
We came to leave behind the world a better way
(The Avett Brothers)


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