Tuesday, July 8, 2008

Just because I'm losing doesn't mean I'm lost.

I know I post a lot of pictures of my food. But damn. My lunch was pretty. (Bonus points: it was also very tasty.)



Crackers, lemon-marinated goat cheese, low-fat chicken salad, dried wasabi peas, and fruit. Nomnomnomnomnom. Severely lacking in the green department, I know, but I'll fix that with a bowl of green beans for dinner.

Now. Why do I talk so much about food? The answer is twofold. See, I decided long ago that I am always going to be obsessed with it. I might as well allow myself to be exactly that, providing I now obsess with gorgeous, healthier options. And it's worked well. 80 pounds don't just disappear. It's sad, but I actually had to work harder for the most recent 20 than I did the initial 60. And I can already tell these next 10 are going to be a doozy. But they'll be gone by the end of the year. Watch.
(I know 10 pounds in 6 months sounds like nothing. But let's not forget I am just now coming off a 2.5 year plateau. If I lose 10 pounds a year for the next 5 years, I'll be 100% satisfied and completely not stressed.)

But in truth, the reason I'm so ready to talk about what's on my plate is because I'm not ready to talk about what's in my head. I can't seem to control everything that's happening in my little world. Body image seems to be one of the only constants for absolute control. I do well: I see results. I don't: I know what's up.

So once again, I leave you with my favorite words from The Avett Brothers. Seriously. It's as if they carved them right out of my own thoughts.

New York quit callin'
New York leave me be

I'm changing the plans that I’ve been setting on
I’m scared by the way that my life's getting gone
Carolina one day I’ll, someday I’ll come home


(Don't worry. My funny will come back. I'm just in a little funk right now. New York and I are in a bit of a scuffle.)

2 comments:

Unknown said...

I love that about food as well. I think a good meal can be something to take your mind off other things and give you something else to talk about. I will never get over the love for a wonderful meal.

Pip (Feck)

Annie said...

Have you heard the Avett's big news?