But I'll be your midnight cowboy, too drunk to even stand.

I need your help.

I need to know if this is funny, if if I'm just severely brain-dead, hard up for a laugh, and absolutely ridiculous.

My friend Kim directed me to a blog that pokes fun at piss-poor cake designs. http://cakewrecks.blogspot.com/
Now, this premise is nothing new, and some of the designs in question have been the the source of e-mockery for years. I scrolled through, rolling my eyes at the insanity and sighing at the stupidity.

But then I came across a golden ticket for hysteria. "Naked Mohawk-Baby Carrot Jockeys."

This cake is so disturbing, I'm almost glad the picture doesn't include the whole thing. The plastic clone babies wearing naught but mohawks is bad enough, but then they're also riding carrots. What do you do with that? It looks like some kind of perverted vegetable rodeo, or maybe a bizarre clone military exercise, what with their little plastic fists raised high in identical salutes.

And what kind of ocassion calls for a "naked babies riding carrots" decor, anyway? No, wait, maybe I don't want to know...



Y'all. I lost it. I literally started laughing so hard that my eyes welled with tears and I had to excuse myself to the ladies' room, where I stood trembling and snorting. I returned to my computer, hellbent on reading the description featured below the picture, only to have to step away from the desk again. It took a good 4 tries before I could compose myself enough to get through it. Later that night, while trying to fall asleep, I murmured to myself "Naked Mohawk-Baby Carrot Jockeys!" and erupted into peels of laughter once more.

This might be the time to admit that for the second week in a row, I watched that stupid Wipe Out show (you know...with the big red balls?!) and literally cackled so hard it sent the cat scurrying to her under-my-bed safety spot.

Someone, assure me I'm not alone. Please?