Sunday, March 8, 2009

The rest is mine, I guess. The beauty AND the mess.

Tucked somewhere in every phone conversation with my mother is her reminder that she had me (her first child) when she was 32. Evan came along 10 years later While the rest of society places a great deal of importance on the Holy Sacrament of Marriage and the blessings children bring, (snort) I'm comforted in the fact that at least my Mama isn't quite ready for me to follow suit. And of all the ways I may have possibly disappointed my parents over the years, at least being single and nearly 27 isn't one of them.

At the end of every phone conversation with my father is his most favorite piece of advice. "Watch your back." That has nothing to do with anything other than the fact that I find it hilarious that of all the things he could say, that is what he consistently chooses.

So there are two big things happening.

1) I'm hellbent on losing another 30 pounds before my birthday. Mainly because with 30 more pounds off, I'll be past 100 pounds off total and I'm pretty sure that's hot shit. And I'm pretty sure the summer will be so much more bearable if I weigh less and therefore feel more comfortable wearing less. Oh yeah, and there's that whole healthier thing too.

It feels good to be eating well again. Earlier today I was flirting with the idea of grabbing slice of pizza or seven for dinner tonight. And then I realized I didn't actually want pizza, I just felt like I should want pizza. I actually want a turkey-apple-cheese sammich on wheat pita with sprouts. And some hummus. I greatly fear I might turn into a chickpea any day now for all the hummus I've been eating.

and the super big news

b) New York gets to keep on keeping me. In June, I'll be signing into another year's lease. While I had made no actual plans to move back to Charlotte, I think we all know it's something that constantly squats in my mind. But after a talking to from my most favorite voice of reason, I realized I'm never going to be truly happy here until I quit talking about leaving. And then I'd leave and suddenly feel all kinds of guilt and sadness over never giving so great a city a real chance. And I know this is the right thing for me because I couldn't possibly imagine being more excited than I am right now at this very second.

Becaaaaaaaause I'm moving into a 3 bedroom with Megan and Marielle and it's going to be beautiful and fantastic and we're going to live in some spectacular neighborhood and in some kind of a brilliant apartment. The timing is perfect - the market is down and so is the rent. We have time and absolutely no need to compromise a thing.

We had our first roommate date over sushi and fro-yo last night and it simply felt right. To try to put it into words would be silly.

It feels damn good to love your life and your situation and your job and your friends but still see lots of room for improvement. LOTS of room, y'all. But that's ok. I'm pretty sure I've still got time.

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