Twiddle-dee-dee, twiddle-dee-dum, Look out baby, cause here I come...

...or Hey, remember that time I auditioned for American Idol?, Part deux.

2:30AM, Tuesday August 19, 2008
Alarms start ringing. Sure, Irene and I are excited, but no one is excited to wake up THAT early. There's a lot of shuffling around and spraying of hairspray and general grunting. Irene is brave enough to apply makeup, but I know better than to try and correctly apply eyeliner before the sun is up.


4AM, Tuesday August 19, 2008
Bags packed and we're ready to go! See?



4:30AM, Tuesday August 19, 2008
After some very excellent streets of NYC navigating a la moi, thankyouverymuch, we arrive at Port Authority to collect our new friends. I have to say - I grew to LOVE these two and cannot now imagine the experience without them.


5AM, Tuesday August 19, 2008
We arrive, just as we're told. And sit in traffic for an hour and a half. But that's ok! The Fab Four takes this time to sing, chat, and really get to know one another. So. We're completely content.



6:30AM, Tuesday August 19, 2008
OUT OF THE CAR! DOWN TO GATE A! And the scene you can imagine is pretty much exactly what you expect. Like a cracked out, hyped up version of the cafeteria scenes from Fame, there are groups of people singing, dancing, showing off, and doing whatever it takes to capture the attention of the cameras milling around. It's hilarious and I cannot stop smiling.




8:15AM, Tuesday August 19, 2008
Doors open! In we rush! (Which is a little ridiculous, seeing how seats are already assigned, but whatevs.) One of the producers proceeds to warm us up and "teach" us the songs we are to sing for the crowd shots. The next two hours are spent screaming for the camera, waving for the camera, jumping up and down for the camera, chanting for the camera, and singing for the camera. I have to say, to get 20,000 people to sing together in an auditorium was a major feat. We done good.


Somehow, I doubt this view will make it onto tv.


Oh! And Jordin Sparks came! But did not sing! But whatever, baby got back, and I like that.


And then, some guy came out and proposed to his Baby Mama. (No, seriously. Kids in tow.) I noticed she made it through to the next round - wonder if she can actually sing.

11AM, Tuesday August 19, 2008
Finally, done singing Get Ready and Hit Me With Your Best Shot. As the production team, sets the stage, I decide to head for the bathroom. Apparently, so did everyone else.


At this point, another producer comes out and explains the process. 12 booths line the floor, each with at least one producer, some with two. Other producers float by as they hear good things. You sing, one at a time, in groups of four. You may be asked to sing something different. You will then either move to a holding room which starts the next round of auditions, or you will be dismissed. You will have your wristband cut off and make your way to the "non-winners" exit. (Because on American Idol, there are no losers.) Once out, you cannot gain access back in.
And if you make it, you will have another couple rounds of auditions with executive producers before you ever see the likes of Simon, Paula, and Randy.

11:30AM, Tuesday August 19, 2008
AND WE'RE OFF! The first two groups were contest winners from local affiliate stations. Damn. They were good. They were BRILLIANT and only a couple made it through. This is seriously cut-throat, y'all!



1PM, Tuesday August 19, 2008
The "I'll do anything to get on tv" ridiculousness begins.

Snow White came.

Snow White went.


Seacrest In! And Out!


3PM, Tuesday August 19, 2008
Apparently, a hot guy in a speedo still makes for good tv.


4PM, Tuesday August 19, 2008
Good Lord, costume ignored, this girl's mouth is HUGE.


5PM, Tuesday August 19, 2008
We're getting close. And antsy. At this point, we've all been sitting and watching some gross cries for attention make their way to the next round while some abundantly talented, gorgeous, and authentic people have been sent for the "non-winners" exit. It's so intimidating that I can't even begin to put it all into words. I decided to attend the audition for the fun and experience of it all. But then you get there and you start to think "what if I can do this?" And frankly, I wouldn't have even tried if a piece of me didn't think I had it in me. So I'm there, trying to not get bogged down in the negative energy that comes with watching amazing people get dismissed. It's not about them. It's about me, and what I can bring to the table.

Also, I'm officially in love with this guy.


Also, FOR THE LOVE, PEOPLE, STOP SINGING WHITNEY HOUSTON'S I HAVE NOTHING. I swear to you, 1 out of every 10 people sang this song.

7PM, Tuesday August 19, 2008
My group is finally up. After the Fab Four has one final run through for one another, we all get into our seats and begin to make our way down to the auditions. For all the hours I spent waiting, this portion seemed to take no time at all.

7:30PM, Tuesday August 19, 2008
I'm up. I take my place in front of my producer. I give him good eye contact, smile my best smile, remember proper breathing, and just sing. Not hard, not fast, not loud, not overdone. Just my voice. Out in the world, and right to him.

And I don't make it to the next round. But you know what? I did well. I wouldn't have changed a thing about my performance. So if I wasn't right being Alison just as she is, then I can live with that.


(There's more to the story, but for now I must get to my real world job. That's the funny thing about all this. Some people complain that dreams get in the way of life. I think that life gets in the way of dreams. But that's ok. That's life.)