And don't be surprised if I love you for all that you are.

I'm not one for margaritas. So I prepared Cinco de Mayo martinis, instead! And I must say, in terms of bartending skillz, I still got it!








Crissie says hi! And also, nomnomnom.









There's nothing like a night of tacos, martinis, and Phase 10. I felt like a young girl of 20, all over again! And just when I didn't think my good mood could soar any higher, I woke up to discover my federal refund had been dropped neatly into my checking account. So, I did what any responsible girl would do - spent $40 on makeup.
(Ladies. www.eyelipsface.com is having a ridiculous sale. Most things are $1-5. I placed my order 3 hours ago and I'm still squealing with excitement and delight.)

100 Things.

1. There are few things that gross me out more than warm cream cheese. If I have a bagel toasted, it must cool completely before cream cheese goes anywhere near it. If I see someone eating a hot bagel and I can tell the cream cheese is all melty and goopy, I start gagging.
2. I don’t like white socks. They bore me. I have an obsession (and drawer full) of fun socks. Toe socks and knee socks especially fascinate me.
3. The same rule applies to underwear. White panties are for the birds. I have exactly one pair of taupe underwear should I ever need to wear pants light in color.
4. I would rather someone ask my name multiple times than refer to me as “girl” or “you” or something else of that nature.
5. I was in a pageant in high school. I placed in the top ten. This surprised everyone but me. I wouldn’t have entered if I didn’t think I had it in me.
6. I was in a sorority in high school. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
7. I was in a sorority in college. It ranks as one of the smartest decisions I’ve ever made. Less so because of being in a sorority at the time, but more so because some of the most important people in my life happen to be my sisters. I don’t think this will ever ever ever change.
8. I used to wish, hope, and pray for curly hair. I now have curly hair. Maybe dreams really do come true. (Or maybe I just finally found the right product.)
9. If I spot a tall man with curly hair, chances are I will find him attractive.
10. I can’t stand it when people pronounce mischievous incorrectly. There is no “i” in the final syllable.
11. I’ve also been known to lecture people on the correct usage of the word tragedy. Some people try to convince me I’m wrong, and that the word has evolved past its original context. I completely disagree.
12. If I have a daughter, I want to name her Lillian Grace. Lillian after Lillian Hellman, one of the most important women to ever live. Grace, because any daughter of mine is going to need all the grace she can get, in any way she can get it. Even if I have to manually attach it into her monogram.
13. I think Dorothy Parker is one of the other most important women to ever live, but I don’t know if I’d want to name my daughter Dorothy. I like it, but she might not. Dorothy could be a hard name to pull off.
14. I haven’t decided if I want kids yet.
15. I left North Carolina because I didn’t want to be an adult and do grown up things like get married and have a career. Now, just about all I can think of is getting married.
16. Secretly, I still want to be a rock star.
17. I’m a better actor than a singer.
18. I usually have a nasty headache if I haven’t had coffee by 9 A.M. I don’t mind, though, because I could be (and have been) addicted to much worse things.
19. I don’t like to ride in the very first or very last subway car.
20. Living in New York has taught me how to read a map. But don’t tell my father. He thinks he taught me.
21. I love that in New York, you can be late for almost anything and blame the subway and no one can ever, ever argue with you.
22. I am late to almost everything. The one exception is the theatre. It is a sin of the highest degree to be late for curtain.
23. I don’t have much in common with my mother. We do have a shared affection for Simon and Garfunkel. Bridge Over Troubled Water rings when I call her.
24. My first screen name was GarfunkyAl.
25. I have discovered that I am the kind of girl that must must must love her job.
26. My sentences are usually much too long. (And often, poorly punctuated.)
27. I’m terrible at video games.
28. I have had way too many important conversations online.
29. I am almost 26 years old and have never been in a relationship.
30. I would rather not be in a relationship than be in a bad one.
31. Once, a boy I barely knew told me that he couldn’t wait to meet the man who could handle me, and shake his hand. I consider this one of the most sincere and best compliments anyone has ever given me.
32. I think Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen is a brilliant movie.
33. I can quote Monty Python and the Holy Grail just about word for word.
34. I didn’t really like Spamalot. You can’t Americanize British humor and get away with it! Not on my watch!
35. I have multiple fake boyfriends. My roommate is particularly good at keeping up with who comes on tv which night. And it doesn’t bother her at all when I ask “are you coming home for boyfriend time?”
36. I get addicted to American Idol about every other year. Last year I couldn’t have cared less. This year, David Cook is one of aforementioned fake boyfriends.
37. I find Tim Curry, Alan Cumming, and Will Arnett all simultaneously creepy and sexy.
38. I usually get addicted to tv shows after they go off the air. Like Sex and the City and Arrested Development.
39. My friends gave me the complete Sex and the City series before I moved to New York. I watch at least one episode a day.
40. I like gerber daisies best because they’re loud and clash with themselves. Just like me.
41. I think I have a girl-crush on Parker Posey.
42. New York has helped me conquer my alone-a-phobia.
43. Just because I’m no longer afraid to be alone doesn’t mean I like it. (And I don’t think I ever will.)
44. My life got instantly better the day I quit apologizing for being me.
45. I like dorks. A lot.
46. I used to hate green beans. Then I realized there are other ways to cook them besides boiling them to a mushy green goo. Now I eat green beans on an almost daily basis.
47. There was a time in my life when I weighed 75 pounds more than I do right now.
48. I’m still working to lose another 50 pounds.
49. I dance ok, for a chunky white girl.
50. I like kissing men with scruff because it tickles and makes me giggle.
51. I usually laugh while kissing. (Well, I usually laugh while doing most things.) I’ve learned this tends to alarm men. Whoops.
52. I wish I could draw. Or paint. Or sculpt. Or something artistic.
53. Sometimes, I dream in cartoon.
54. The SuperBowl is one of the saddest days of the year, because it means no more football for about 6 months.
55. Though I now consider myself a Carolina Girl, I will defend Alabama on two grounds: barbeque and college football.
56. I did not own a real pair of jeans until the 6th grade. Prior to that, they all had an elastic waistband. Ah, the sordid tales of a fat kid.
57. Funfetti is far and away the best kind of cake in existence.
58. Tanning booths don’t make me tan. They make me orange. This is good knowledge to have, should I ever be cast as an oompa loompa.
59. I used to tell people I was going to be the Cat Lady when I grew up. This was a defense mechanism. I no longer plan for my life to pan out that way.
60. In 7th grade, I told my science class that my parents were giving me liposuction for Christmas.
61. There was a time in my life when I didn’t know the difference between positive and negative attention. To me, attention was attention, and I sought it in whatever way I could.
62. When I retire, I want to move to Savannah. I hope some of my best friends do, too.
63. I still get a huge kick out of slumber parties.
64. I read the missed connections on Craigslist mostly as a laugh. But an eensy, weensy part of me always wonders if there’s anyone out there, trying to reach me.
65. I was obsessed with being a meteorologist as a kid. Then I realized that would involve lots of science and math classes and I quickly changed my mind.
66. I cry when I pray.
67. I cry when I throw up.
68. I cry when I’m frustrated.
69. I cry at Disney movies, but rarely any others.
70. I feel like most (acting) roles that I would be good for, I’m too young for. This gives me incredible hope for the future.
71. I have a completely ridiculous memory for song lyrics. If I’ve heard it, I can probably sing it.
72. There’s a really fun game I like to play in which you give me a situation and I find a song lyric to match it. And usually, sing it to you.
73. The Tennessee Williams Classics boxed set that my aunt and uncle gave me for Christmas a couple years ago ranks as one of the best gifts I have ever received.
74. I will play a Tennessee Williams heroine before I die. I just know it. The same rule applies for a Lillian Hellman character.
75. I don’t know if I have it in me to play a Eugene O’Neill character. This doesn’t really concern or upset me.
76. I still like to read Roald Dahl books.
77. If I feel ugly, I am automatically in a bad mood. It is for this reason that I’ve been labeled “high maintenance.”
78. High maintenance does not mean superficial.
79. I’m going to Greece on my honeymoon.
80. I have never stayed overnight in a hospital.
81. I still have an Atari system.
82. I kind of want to paint or dye my cowboy boots purple. Does anyone know the best way to go about this?
83. I get shy about the most ridiculous things. Like approaching a host stand to request a table, or going to the post office. Yeah, I don’t know either.
84. I hate fish. Unless it’s raw. Sushi, I love.
85. Vegetables should also be raw, for maximum Alison consumption.
86. I hate olives. I want to like them, so I can look sexy with a dirty martini or put one on each finger and be silly before eating them.
87. I still want to learn to play the piano.
88. I still want to be fluent in French.
89. Even when texting, I refuse to shorten you to u or any other such nonsense.
90. Even when IMing, I refuse to write LOL. I just say “hahaha.”
91. I’ve seen Kelly Clarkson in concert.
92. I’m at least 30-40% gray. But you probably don’t know this because I’ve been dying my hair since 8th grade. And frankly, the thought of being gray doesn’t really bother me. I’m just trying to figure out how to gracefully grow it out.
93. Sometimes, on a really pretty morning, I have to suppress the urge to shout “Hello, World!” and jump off my front porch and into the day.
94. I can’t wait to have a real front porch, complete with a swing and some rocking chairs.
95. I’m a firm believer that you need at least 10 hugs a day to be happy and healthy. I usually fall short of this mark, but it’s always nice to have something to aspire to.
96. Prior to living in New York, I hated summer. Now I hate winter.
97. I am completely guilty of taking dumbass self-portraits. All. The. Time.
98. I grew up in Alabama, yet have never set foot in Mississippi. Or Louisiana. I find this absolutely bizarre.
99. I get a huge kick out of drinking red wine from large goblets. There is just something so wonderful about a truly large, bulbous wine glass.
100. I love that I had to move out of Charlotte to discover I belong there. I love knowing that I belong somewhere, period.

I want you between me and the feeling I get when I miss you.

Ok. I've fallen back in love with New York City. It's official. Last night I shared this here bottle of red (and some veal and some lobster carbonara and some tiramisu) with my good friend Sean. Afterwards, I literally could not wipe a silly grin off my face as I rode the subway home. I'm sure the other passengers questioned my mental stability, but I was just too busy being happy to stop. Or care.



And then it hit me. Life is good.

Pulling back you see it all, down here so laughable and small.

I'm just so thrilled to see that the world has finally caught onto the correct spelling of "Alison."





(Also. I loved that I wandered across this advertisement at the tail end of my sweatiest run to date. I don't need no stinkin' Harbor Fitness. I gots some legs, an iPod, and glorious weather on my side.)

Lovin' would be easy if your colors were like my dream.

I arrived at work with a mind full of "I hate tourists" rants. Mostly because it's raining. And New York City sucks in the rain. And tourists should not be allowed the awesome responsibility of navigating Times Square with umbrellas. And it was a rough weekend, overflowing with cheap, sleazy people who seemed hellbent on making my days nothing short of torture.

(I would like to interupt this regularly schedule blog post for a late breaking Life-In-The-Hospitality-Industry story: one of my coworkers just witnessed a woman peeing. In the middle of the hotel lobby. That's right. When the security guards would not allow her into the lobby bathrooms, as they are for guests only, she dropped trou in the middle of it all, popped a squat, let loose, and finished with a "Guess you should have let me use your toilets!" Wow.)

So ignoring the fact that some people are just plain ridiculous and it's my job to stand here, smile a-blazin', ready help where it's needed, I bring you my latest amazing tip. Now. In my 5 months as a concierge I have received: loose change. A $100 bill. A $50 check. Business cards a plenty, of people who like my personality and want me to come sell their mediocre products. A bottle of wine. A gyro. A cannoli. Offers of leftover pizza. Hand-written thank-you notes. Compliments. Hell, even insults.

But today's tip takes the cake.

Money does not make the world go round. But kindness does.

Also.

Afterthought to my previous post - IF I do have kids, they will definitely be the kind to doodle Gershwin lyrics in sidewalk chalk.

That's all.

Gonna ride this merry-go-round and dance like the night is never ending.

I can't help but pray that a child did this. Should that be the case, this picture restores a little of my faith in the future of the world.


Speaking of children, my Granny just asked me when she could be expecting some great-grandchildren. Now. I had hoped to be spared this conversation, for numerous reasons.
1) The obvious. I'm not married. Hell, I'm not even close. Now, thank GOD no one in my family has started to harp on this subject. Because if (ok, when) they do, I shall be forced to scream, curse, and probably throw (soft) objects at their heads.
1a) Both my parents were married to other people before they found each other. Should they ever bug me about marriage, I'll gladly remind them I'd prefer to never suffer a divorce and just wait around for the one who will be right all along instead.
1b) Ok, I got nothin' but I was told you can't have an a without a b.
2) I'm second in line on my Dad's side. Go bug Lexie.
3) My mother had me when she was 32. She was 41 when Evan was born. My father was 36 and 45, respectively. This buys me at least 6 more years. Done and done.
4) You don't get to ask for great-grandbabies. Parents get to ask for grandchildren. Maybe. When their kids have been safely and happily married for at least 2-5 years. You're welcome to remind me of this when I'm 75. Promise.

Whenever anyone sees me with children, they ask if I have any. My knee-jerk response is always "NO! I'm only 25!" And then I take a beat and say a silent prayer for the fact that it is 2008 and not 1908.

And THAT is how I feel about that.

You could drive a person craaaazy.

So I wasn't feeling well. Thankfully work was slow and my bosses, benevolent, so I was allowed to leave work early. I made it home safe and sound, donned my favorite hoodie, brewed some tea, chugged some OJ, climbed under my comforter, and prepared myself for all the good tv I missed this week.

And by "good tv," I do of course mean the two shows which make me squeal with oh-so-guilty delight, American Idol (don't you dare judge me) and The Office (shut up, you love it too).

Bad idea, y'all. My poor, overstimulated, sleep deprived pea-brain is not equipped to handle both my imaginary boyfriends in so short a timespan. Hotness overload. Insufficient shame capacity. System has crashed.


Yum-Oh.

Now I know that everything's alright. If we stay between the glow, and the light.

How to Have a Good New York Night
by A&E

1) Start with a deliiiiiiicious meal of sushi and wine. (Bonus points if it's free. Ours was.) Enjoy the company and conversation so much that you forget to take pictures. Remember to start documenting the fun over green tea.



2) Decide that since you are in fact Elizabeth and/or Alison, McDonald's french fries are in order. Because, let's be honest. Nothing rounds off a meal of raw fish like some fried grease.



3) Laugh. A lot.




4) Though completely aware that you are absolutely stuffed out the gills, decide that NOTHING rounds off raw fish and fried grease like frozen whipped air. TASTI D-LIGHT, IT IS! Arrive to discover your favorite flavor. Rice pudding. Nomnomnomnomnomnomnom.



5) Pretend to be artsy and emo in the subway.



6) Walk the Brooklyn Bridge. Partially because you need to burn off some serious calories, but mostly because there aren't many better ways to see, appreciate, and love your city. Re-commence artsy and emo photoshoot.



7) Realize that this life? Yeah. Not so bad after all.

(Thank you.)

And did you miss me while you were looking for yourself out there?

I need to fall in love with New York again. Lately it's just seemed so smelly and dirty and aggressive.

Yesterday, after an intensely "oh my GOOOOOOOD, why is this my liiiiiiiiiife?!" day, I got on the subway, iPod on, ready to ride home and marinate in the things that HAD gone nicely. I had just passed into a happier place of existing when I heard a lot of scuffling and mini-shrieks. I opened one eye just in time to see one middle aged man slug another. The locals vs. non-locals became instantly apparent, as the non dashed from the scene while the locals sat, unamused, wondering how long this would delay the train.

(I sat still.)

Is this how I am now? Has this city impacted me so much that I can't even be bothered to react?

I can tell already that I am driving at a panic attack if I keep up the way I've been going. It's time to draw on the words of wisdom from my newest favorite book and constant sister-in-support. Today, I will do what I can and control only what I may. The future is going to happen whether I stress about it or not, and plans, no matter how well laid, will always find a way to unravel. Plans. Unravel. I will not. I will enjoy whatever time it is I have left in this place. It's a harsh place, but an important one.

But for tonight, I will wear my favorite dress and enjoy sushi, good company, and a city I know I still love. Even if only for a few more moments.