Think of me as programmable soda.

Christmas has done come and gone and I've invaded and retreated from the South (and ingested a whole lot of fried and sugared things). Other than a blissful couple days with Lori and her family followed by a couple more oddly peaceful days with my own, I have nothing to report. I hate to admit it, but Christmastime loses a lil somethin'somethin' without little ones running about. Perhaps one day...

I've been trying to find the words to adequately reflect on the past year and eloquently pose my hopes and dreams for the next. I think 2008 can by summed up as the "Woah. Didn't see that coming" kind of year, and I'm at peace with that. No one ever thought I'd last over a year in New York City, much less going strong on nearly two and a half. No one ever thought I'd fall into a career path and advance to management at the tender young age of 26. No one ever thought I'd conquer my alone-aphobia. Or that I'd try to move back to North Carolina and fail. No one ever thought I'd suddenly start to get along with, and respect, certain members of my family. No one ever thought I'd finally mature and leave the petulant child act behind.

Maybe I'm not giving anyone enough credit. Maybe what I mean by "no one" is "I."

At any rate, I stand ready to step into 2009 without any resemblance of a plan. Usually there's a list. (And dammit, I usually stick to that list, too.) But seeing how every plan I make seems to unravel, I refuse to make one for the year. Let 2009 be the year I love deeper and laugh louder and fall harder and surrender to God's will better than I ever have before. Perhaps that's the chicken's way out but I don't care because there doesn't really seem to be any other way for me to be.

Currently occupying the coveted background of my blackberry is my most favorite picture of this year. It serves as a constant reminder to always question, always wonder.

Where AM I going? I'm not entirely sure, yet I do have a very good feeling about 2009. It just feels like the kind of year where what I want and what I need are going to find each other and fuse together. I. Can't. Wait. I am going to be happy.