I'm a little too excited about my new suit. I bought 3 Calvin Klein shirts this week. And lately? I've found myself wearing shirts with collars. Mostly under cardigans. With pearls. AND IRONING THINGS BEFORE I WEAR THEM.
Am I becoming a prep? Lord, I hope not.
Things are lining up and falling into place and I feel alright.
Tonight as I exited the train, a group of 17 year old boys cat-called and wolf-whistled me. I'm not sure why, but it was the perfect kind of validation as I strutted into the cold New York night. Tikka masala and naan with friends sealed the deal and as I floated away on a cloud of free beer and silly Howie Day songs, I realized I'm in the right place right now.
Avenue Q is having an open call next week. I don't want to make a big deal, and I hardly have huge expectations, but I'm excited that a role I've always coveted is coming open in time for me to try for it. And what good is New York without at least a few Broadway auditions before I go? Life's a blank page and I intend to fill it with exciting stories.
I know of about 16 births in the past month. Mother Nature seems to be tugging at my heart strings. "If you're not going to do this, then please do something else worthwhile." Mostly, I'm just happy that my current state of being is anything but boring.
Finally figuring out where I want to take acting classes/getting accepted will do just that to me. (It was a good day.)
Also, Definitely, Maybe. Definitely see it. It's the first chick flick I've seen in awhile that's actually smart and witty and endearing and full of talented people. Ryan Reynolds is pretty easy on the eyes, and a Kevin Kline cameo never hurts my feelings.
...who loves her Mommy. Look at what mine gave me!
Happy Day Full of Love, y'all!
The audition went well. It was supposed to be a 5 minute affair, but true to Alison form, I talked a lot and it took 25. I nailed the monologue to the best of my ability. If I don't get in, I think it will be for lack of experience and not talent. (Wow, hi, full of it much?) I'm still going to be disappointed should I not get this. Sooooooo, I just won't think about it for now. Good plan?
It finally snowed. And it's lovely. (But I hope it's gone before I have to go to work tomorrow afternoon.)
I cannot get over how much I love green beans. And hummus. And red wine. Mmmmmm.
This is the first year I haven't completely dreaded Valentine's Day or made a bunch of horrible Single's Awareness Day jabs.
I'm really looking forward to sleeping in tomorrow.
Life's good.
Finally, I'll give you a little something not captured with a shutter or penned by another hand.
I have an audition next Monday, and I fear it's my most important yet. This MIGHT be the first audition I will be going into without my typical "I don't care - I just want to try" attitude. It's for school. Which I clearly need to be in, again. Much to my chagrin, having a degree in Theatre does me little good in the Acting world. Thought it will hopefully be good for something down the road, when I feel like being an adult, for now I might as well have a BA in Underwater Basket Weaving. If I get what I want, I'll be placed in the Advanced Technique class. I'll get to attend workshops and read important works and meet important people and casting directors. If I'm not up to par, I'll be placed in the beginners' class. At the risk of sounding obnoxious, I don't want to be labeled a beginner this late in my game. I want to show the spark. I want to be memorable. I want to show aptitude and promise. I want to be in complete control over my muscles, my actions, my talent.
I need to know moving here wasn't a mistake and that there might be room for me in an industry where few believe I belong and not even I know if I'm willing to play the game in order to stay. Getting into this class will be the first step. Not only will it provide the training I require to move forward, the connections I need to get ahead, and the feedback I long to hear...but it will also be the validation I've rarely found outside myself.
Pressure isn't always a bad thing. Without pressure, we'd never get anything done. So I'm putting some on myself. I've been far too lenient and lackadaisical in my time here so far. No more. I've got a kickass monologue that suits me perfectly, and I plan to nail that sucker.
I hope I get it. (Sorry. A theatre rant isn't a very good one until you've made at least one corny reference, right?)
In other news, I really freakin' love my cat. Ok. I'm done.
I Stand
When you ask me, who I am:
What is my vision? And do I have a plan?
Where is my strength? Have I nothing to say?
I hear the words in my head, but I push them away.
'Cause I stand for the power to change,
I live for the perfect day.
I love till it hurts like crazy,
I hope for a hero to save me.
I stand for the strange and lonely,
I believe there's a better place.
I don't know if the sky is heaven,
But I pray anyway.
And I don't know
What tomorrow brings
The road less traveled
Will it set us free?
Cause we are taking it slow,
These tiny legacies.
I don't try and change the world;
But what will you make of me?
'Cause I stand for the power to change,
I live for the perfect day.
I love till it hurts like crazy,
I hope for a hero to save me.
I stand for the strange and lonely,
I believe there's a better place.
I don't know if the sky is heaven,
But I pray anyway.
With the slightest of breezes
We fall just like leaves
As the rain washes us from the ground
We forget who we are
We can't see in the dark
And we quickly get lost in the crowd
'Cause I stand for the power to change,
I live for the perfect day.
I love till it hurts like crazy,
I hope for a hero to save me.
'Cause I stand for the power to change,
I live for the perfect day.
I love till it hurts like crazy,
I hope for a hero to save me.
I stand for the strange and lonely,
I believe there's a better place.
I don't know if the sky is heaven,
But I pray anyway.
(Idina Menzel)
