You wanna show the world, but no one knows your name (yet.)

New things scare me.

It may surprise you to know that I get very, incredibly, absolutely and super nervous when facing something unfamiliar. I'm a quintessential creature of habit. Lucky for me, I'm equal parts anxious and self-aware, so I know how to arm myself with the proper tools to address the unknown.

My latest fad has been to label every new thing I encounter an adventure. Adventure just sounds so entertaining and intriguing and engaging and lots of other wonderful words. Say it! I'M GOING ON AN ADVENTURE! There. Doesn't that sound awfully nice? I think so.

And my fail-safe backup has always been to take reinforcements. I do better with people around. (Haven't you noticed?) I usually give these people pep-talks before we embark on our adventure. I tell them what I will do and how they should react. It helps.

So it may surprise no one that on Saturday, I set out for my latest adventure. An open casting call for a new reality show called More to Love. I can tell already there is going to be a lot of love and a lot of criticism for this show. I hope it swims. I hope it soars. I hope it's something shiny and new and not just a reproduction of the tried and true reality tv production - drama queens + cameras = win. I think there might a good message in there, and I'm wishing and hoping and praying that I get to be one of the ladies putting my heart right there on that screen.

Because I'm me, I knew I would panic at the crucial moment. Because Crissie is a good friend, she came along to give me that nudge. (Because I'm me, I knew she was the one to ask.) So with any lucky, hopefully last Saturday will go down as the day my universe shifted. It's all going so very well. Now I'm in the sit around and wait for a phone call portion of this adventure. It's wreaking havoc - much more than I ever thought it would. I can't sleep cause I'm just so gosh-darned excited! I just keep picturing me, beamed across televisions across the country. Me, going on fantasy dates with some kind of ridiculous dreamboat. Me, putting it out there that not all chubby bunnies are lazy and sloppy and lethargic.

I've started many adventures in my life. Somehow I'm suddenly feeling each step has been a stone on a path en route to this. So, onto the next adventure!

(I hope.)

If I ever start to think straight, this heart will start a riot in me.

Today is rainy and in the 40s. And my whatever-I've-got-that-keeps-making-me-feel-like-poo is re-attacking and binding me to the couch.

But yesterday was gorgeous. Crissie and I ate burgers, went to Barnes and Noble, and sat our little butts in the park for a few hours. Know what I want more than anything? A football, and someone to throw it to. Don't let my squishy white arms fool you - my daddy taught me how to do a mean spiral.

And then there was gelato.

Mmmm. Spring is ALMOST here. See?

My heartbeat beats me senselessly. Why's everything got to be so intense with me?

I'm going to give you an update in the form of the lyrics I can't stop listening to and what I've been twittering about. Sound good? Lyrics in italics. Me in bold.

(Oh, and the song? Kelly Clarkson's Long Shot. It's been on constant repeat for about 24 hours now. My poor roommate...)

So now I’ll take a chance on
This thing we may have started
Intentional or not I
Don’t think we saw it coming

Now having a much improved morning. A guest just left me a SPONGEBOB SKATEBOARD and game of Sorry! for a tip!

It’s all adding up to something
That asks for some involvement
That asks for a commitment I think I see it coming

Taryn is here!

If we step out on that limb

edamame falafel? Amazing. Absolutely amazing.
I smell bacon.
Had duck for dinner and lamb for lunch! Exotic!
Loves brunch. Mainly for the free alcohol involved.

My heartbeat beats me senselessly
Why’s everything got to be so intense with me

Weekend finally over. Must face shower. Hair dryer. Hair product. Pantyhose. Suit. Makeup. Commute. Stupid tourists. Yaaaaay!

I’m trying to handle all this unpredictability
In all probability

Fox is casting a reality show to help a "curvy" girl find love. I am so totally all over that!!!

It’s a long shot but I say why not
If I say forget it
I know that I’ll regret it
It’s a long shot just to beat these odds
The chance is we won't make it
But I know if I don't take it there's no chance '
Cause you're the best I got
So take a long shot

Oh man. I haven't had the lovebug this bad in awhile, y'all. Fingers crossed.

I realize that there is all this doubting
Things we're both scared about that
We’ll never see them coming
Throw caution to the wind and
We’ll see which way it's blowing
Into this fully knowing
We’ll never see it coming
Til it's much too close to stop

Mortified and hungover. Instead of asking a guy OUT, my drunken tongue said HOME. Gah.

My heartbeat beats me senselessly
Why’s everything got to be so intense with me
I’m trying to handle all this unpredictability
In all probability

Damage control worked. Got a cute text from boy this am, unprompted by me. Phew. Vodka, we are so fighting.

It’s a long shot and I say why not
If I say forget it I know that I’ll regret it
It’s a long shot just to beat these odds
The chance is we won't make it
But I know if I don't take it there's no chance '
Cause you're the best I got
So take a long shot

Has had kelly clarkson's long shot on repeat for the whole ride home. It pretty much sums up everything. Everything.

Oh I waited for fact to come of fiction
And you fit my description
I never saw you coming
But we'll make it

What is written on the ass of the Tarheel's basketball uniforms? Anyone know?

It’s a long shot but I say why not
If I say forget it I know that I’ll regret it

I'm pretty sure their butts say "carolina" - I was hoping for "juicy." But, I love the argyle stripes!

It’s a long shot just to beat these odds

I think I liked chubby seth rogen more.

The chance is we won't make it But I know if I don't take it there's no chance 'Cause you're the best I got

Thinks if you don't enunciate, "ain't no sunshine" sounds more like "anal sunshine." And that's a bad thing.

It’s a long shot but I say why not

Still hoping...


And if that didn't satisfy your need to know what's going on in this ridiculous brain, heart, soul and body of mine...here are some pictures.