It's the end of the world as we know it. (And I feel fine.)

Only in New York will you find a pair of Manolo Blahniks in a thrift store. (For a paltry $100.)





I thought about buying them, just to own Manolos. I settled on a $10 pair of hot pink patent leather peep toe wedge platforms and a new set of wine glasses, instead. Thank you, Upper East Side Goodwill.

She's not a girl who misses much. Do-do-do-do-do-do-do. Oh, yeah.

Today's contribution from the (apparently self-appointed) Pun Queen:
While trying to convince my internet to un-firewall itself and download a torrent file I've been looking for (the Xanadu cast recording, if you must know) I found myself (almost completely unintentionally) screeching SEED ME, FEYMOR.

Yikes.

And today's contribution from the Dumbest Girl In the World:
Yesterday morning I awoke to my phone refusing to show me anything but a black screen with the Verizon logo. After panicking as to when I could get in to get it fixed and how much I would have to pay for it and why a nearly new phone was already breaking down and fuming and cursing and generally freaking out, it dawned on me. Perhaps I should plug it in.

Whoops.

I'm only happy when it's complicated.

Human nature can be a very silly thing. There's a man who lives 'round the corner that I typically ridicule for the passion and fervor with which he greets every. Single. Passerby. I tend to roll my eyes, give a response that borders on curt, and continue on my way. (Convinced, of course, that he is merely crazy and that is that.) Tonight, en route to grab some dinner, I could hear his cheerful inquiries to the state of so-and-so's Ma from a block away. I braced myself. Here comes Crazy. After greeting several others in his typical manner, our paths crossed. I received a nod and a cool "Hello."

And I found myself sad. I had already prepared to let him know that yes, I am well and certainly enjoying the abundant sunshine. Had I done something to turn him off? It's ludicrous that I let this to hurt my feelings today, while any other day I stand ready to mock his eccentricities.

On a more pleasant note, my Saturday night was far too ridiculous to even attempt to explain. You get pictures, instead.

Girl, if you want to make the team. Fake some self esteem!

Ok. I hate to admit this. But McDonald's Sweet Tea?


(Bah-dah-bah-bah-bah.) I'm lovin' it.

I read an article on CNN this morning about a couple who put their child on Ebay.
"Offering my nearly new baby for sale, as it has gotten too loud. It is a male baby, nearly 28 inches (70 cm) long and can be used either in a baby carrier or a stroller." The couple asked for one euro for the child. Officials have now taken the child into custody.

Now, I understand the reaction and am in no way faulting the police, or those who alerted them. And I don't think the couple should have done that. That kid is going to grow into either a terribly oddball complex or will turn out delightfully funny. "Dude. My parents tried to sell me on EBAY. I am AWESOME."

But am I a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad person for finding the whole thing hilarious? Furthermore, for TOTALLY GETTING that it HAD to have been a joke? Ahhhh, people.

But I still haven't found what I'm looking for.

Something to add to the list of Things Alison Does Well:
Lasagna.

I keep fantasizing of being in the place in my life where I get a front porch with a swing and a backyard with a hammock.

Christ, am I becoming domestic or something?

And though scary is exciting, nice is different than good.

So. I have to amend my previous post. Crissie and I saw In the Heights last night. And the verdict is...it doesn't suck. Any other year, I would have laughed at the idea of putting this show into the running for much of anything. But the show I saw last night vs. the show I saw in previews prior to its off-Broadway run over a year ago? Worlds apart.

Nomnomnomnomnomnomnom.
(That's me eating my own words. In the Heights has actually matured into a fine, entertaining show.)

Moving along, there are not many things I love more than buying a plane ticket to Charlotte. I click "purchase" and immediately become a trembling child, squealing and giggling and happy all over. However, this week I found something to trump that feeling. A plane ticket to Charleston, coupled with a plane ticket from Charlotte. That's right. One week. My two favorite cities. And a night in Georgetown, to boot.

I need to move my ass to some more auditions. Soon.

I feel very strongly about mementos. Memorabilia, I guess you call it.

Ah, yes. Tony nomination day. It's like every theatre enthusiast's Thanksgiving. That is to say, the day before all the fun begins, counting down one month to the Best Day of the Year. There are a looooot of shows I still haven't seen (oh, how I MISS working for Broadway.com when it comes to my lack of free tickets). Crissie and I are going to start rushing for a few shows over the coming weeks. If anyone cares to join, please let me know!

Best Play:
August: Osage County
Rock 'n' Roll
The Seafarer
The 39 Steps

Absolutely no surprises here. My prediction? August: Osage County is going to take it.

Best Musical:
Cry-Baby
In the Heights
Passing Strange
Xanadu

I seriously almost cried when I read this. Halfway out of happiness, for Xanadu and Passing Strange and halfway out of shame and misery for...those other two. Seriously? Cry-Baby is one of the biggest trainwrecks I've seen. But I'll touch on that later as we hit the various categories. Where's Young Frankenstein? Ok, so it's no The Producers or Spamalot, but in comparison to Cry-Baby and In the Heights? Come ON. I'm not surprised in the least that A Catered Affair failed to make the cut. And poor, poor Disney/Little Mermaid. It was bad enough last year when they got all the nominations (save one for Ashley (shudder) Brown) and none of the awards - but to not even get a nod? Ouch. Denied the chance of bonus publicity! Er, I mean, to perform live on millions of TV sets. (Do millions of people even watch the Tonys? I guess I'm out of touch with the non-theatrical world.) Couldn't have been a happy day at the happiest place on earth/under the sea. Yuk yuk yuk. Word on the street is that Xanadu has a prayer. Should that happen, I'll be surprised, but not unhappy. My money is still on Passing Strange. Mostly because I LOVE it, but also because I think it's the only show on the list with originality AND artistic merit.

Best Book of a Musical
Cry-Baby, Mark O'Donnell and Thomas Meehan
In the Heights, Quiara Alegria Hudes
Passing Strange, Stew
Xanadu, Douglas Carter Beane

I DO think Xanadu has a shot at taking this one. And I'm not at ALL surprised that Young Frankenstein didn't make the cut here. It's certainly not a good script. But, I do think it's a good show, thanks mostly to its cast.

Best Original Score
Cry-Baby, Music & Lyrics: David Javerbaum & Adam Schlesinger
In The Heights, Music & Lyrics: Lin-Manuel Miranda
The Little Mermaid, Music: Alan Menken and Lyrics: Howard Ashman and Glenn Slater
Passing Strange, Music: Stew and Heidi Rodewald Lyrics: Stew

Ok. If I can't walk out of your theatre singing the songs I just heard at the top of my lungs, we have a problem. Seriously. The curtain fell on Cry-Baby and I couldn't remember a note. I know In the Heights has become Broadway's little darling, and I know I haven't caught the Broadway transfer and can only base my opinions on the off-Broadway production. I think the score is decent. I think it's going to be between this show and Little Mermaid. I mean, it's going to be a little hard to beat the Menken monster.

Best Revival of a Play
Boeing-Boeing
The Homecoming
Les Liaisons Dangereueses
Macbeth

Whaaaaat? No Cat on a Hot Tin Roof?!?!?!? Ok. I'm a Williams snob. This wounds me to a core. And, since I haven't had the pleasure of seeing any of these, I can't really make a good judgement. (I'm dying...DYING...to catch Boeing-Boeing though. Will it be the stuffs Tonys are made of? I don't knooooow!)

Best Revival of a Musical
Grease
Gypsy
Rodgers and Hammerstein's South Pacific
Sunday in the Park With George

Grease got a nod?! Wow. Poor Sunday in the Park With George. Any other year, this might have half a shot. I mean, is it a shocker to ANYONE that it's going to come down to South Pacific vs. Gypsy? My vote's with South Pacific. But I don't know that I'd place any money or importance on this bet.

Best Performance By a Leading Actor in a Play
Ben Daniels, Les Liaisons Dangereuses
Laurence Fishburne, Thurgood
Mark Rylance, Boeing-Boeing
Rufus Sewell, Rock 'n' Roll
Patrick Stewart, Macbeth

Since I ain't seen 'em, I can't judge them. But, if I must make an educated guess, I'll go with Stewart or Sewell. (Also, whaaaaat?!??! No Nathan Lane?!?! No Norbert Leo Butz?!?! Aren't they, like, Broadway royalty?)

Best Performance By a Leading Actress in a Play
Eve Best, The Homecoming
Deanna Dunagan, August: Osage County
Kate Fleetwood, Macbeth
S. Epatha Merkerson, Come Back, Little Sheba
Amy Morton, August: Osage County

Ooooooh, I cannot WAIT to see August: Osage County. From what I've seen, I really think Deanna Dunagan is going to take it. I'm THRILLED to see Eve Best and S. Epatha Merkerson got nods.

Best Performance By a Leading Actor in a Musical
Daniel Evans, Sunday in the Park With George
Lin-Manuel Miranda, In the Heights
Stew, Passing Strange
Paulo Szot, Rodgers and Hammerstein's South Pacific
Tom Wopat, A Catered Affair

Hoooooray for Wopat! I think Paulo Szot has got it, though. Although, after last year's Raul Esparza upset, I'm completely terrified to predict in this territory. Could Lin-Manuel Miranda take it for the underdogs, again?

Best Performance By a Leading Actress in a Musical
Kerry Butler, Xanadu
Patti LuPone, Gypsy
Kelli O'Hara, Rodgers and Hammerstein's South Pacific
Faith Prince, A Catered Affair
Jenna Russell, Sunday in the Park With George

I'm thrilled Kerry Butler got a nod. That being said, comparing her to Patti and Kelli is like hoping Laura Bell Bundy had a shot again Christine Ebersole last year. I've heard a LOT of people murmuring Faith Prince's name. I don't know. My money's still on Patti.

Best Performance By a Featured Actor in a Play
Bobby Cannavale, Mauritius
Raúl Esparza, The Homecoming
Conleth Hill, The Seafarer
Jim Norton, The Seafarer
David Pittu, Is He Dead?

Since Raul missed out last year, can we give it to him this year? Please? Please??

Best Performance By a Featured Actress in a Play
Sinead Cusack, Rock 'n' Roll
Mary McCormack, Boeing-Boeing
Laurie Metcalf, November
Martha Plimpton, Top Girls
Rondi Reed, August: Osage County

Since Martha missed out last year, can we give it to her this year? Please? Please??

Best Performance By a Featured Actor in a Musical
Daniel Breaker, Passing Strange
Danny Burstein, Rodgers & Hammerstein's South Pacific
Robin De Jesús, In The Heights
Christopher Fitzgerald, The New Mel Brooks Musical Young Frankenstein
Boyd Gaines, Gypsy

Wow. Robin de Jesus is in the same category as Boyd Gaynes? Now I've seen everything. How does that even HAPPEN?! Christopher Fitzgerald had better get this. It's one of the few places I really do think YF actually DESERVES a nomination and I wasn't just EXPECTING it to get one.

Best Performance By a Featured Actress in a Musical
de'Adre Aziza, Passing Strange
Laura Benanti, Gypsy
Andrea Martin, The New Mel Brooks Musical Young Frankenstein
Olga Merediz, In The Heights
Loretta Ables Sayre, Rodgers & Hammerstein's South Pacific

If any category is going to give me a heart attack while choosing, it's this one. I mean, I think I've already displayed a good amount of love and affection for any and everyone in and around Passing Strange. (ALTHOUGH - I did enjoy Eisa Davis and Rebecca Naomi Jones' performances more than Aziza's.) But Andrea Martin? Oh my Sweet Lord. And Laura and Olga and Loretta? Equally as likely. I don't know. Going out on a limb, I'm going to go with Andrea Martin. Maybe Loretta Ables Sayre?! Laura Benanti?! I don't knoooooow!!!!

Best Direction of a Play
Maria Aitken, The 39 Steps
Conor McPherson, The Seafarer
Anna D. Shapiro, August: Osage County
Matthew Warchus, Boeing-Boeing

Judging from the reviews, I think Matthew Warchus has a shot. I mean, Boeing-Boeing is NOT the strongest script, and I understand this has turned into a remarkable production. (Have I mentioned I cannot WAIT to see it?!) Again, haven't not seen any, I'm not really in a place to judge. Gut reaction: Anna Shapiro.

Best Direction of a Musical
Sam Buntrock, Sunday in the Park with George
Thomas Kail, In The Heights
Arthur Laurents, Gypsy
Bartlett Sher, Rodgers & Hammerstein's South Pacific

I have a feeling this is going to be another Gypsy vs. South Pacific faceoff. I'm going with Bartlett Sher.

Best Choreography
Rob Ashford, Cry-Baby
Andy Blankenbuehler, In The Heights
Christopher Gattelli, Rodgers & Hammerstein's South Pacific
Dan Knechtges, Xanadu

Oh, look! The one category where Cry-Baby actually deserves its nomination. Wouldn't it be amazing if Xanadu won? I don't think it will. I would just like it. I have to give it to Rob Ashford here though. Cry-Baby is nothing without its choreography.

Best Orchestrations
Jason Carr, Sunday in the Park with George
Alex Lacamoire & Bill Sherman, In the Heights
Stew & Heidi Rodewald, Passing Strange
Jonathan Tunick, A Catered Affair

Sunday in the Park With George. The end.

Best Scenic Design of a Play
Peter McKintosh, The 39 Steps
Scott Pask, Les Liaisons Dangereuses
Todd Rosenthal, August: Osage County
Anthony Ward, Macbeth

Can I see them and get back to you? K thanks.

Best Scenic Design of a Musical
David Farley and Timothy Bird & The Knifedge Creative Network, Sunday in the Park with George
Anna Louizos, In the Heights
Robin Wagner, The New Mel Brooks Musical Young Frankenstein
Michael Yeargan, Rodgers & Hammerstein's South Pacific

Um. Young Frankenstein. I'm still quietly saying "wow" to myself.

Best Costume Design of a Play
Gregory Gale, Cyrano de Bergerac
Rob Howell, Boeing-Boeing
Katrina Lindsay, Les Liaisons Dangereuses
Peter McKintosh, The 39 Steps

I dunno. Jennifer Garner did have some pretty amazing cleavage. I tend to be less impressed by the period pieces and more impressed by the modern takes. I think The 39 Steps has the most original design. So. I'll pick it.

Best Costume Design of a Musical
David Farley, Sunday in the Park with George
Martin Pakledinaz, Gypsy
Paul Tazewell, In the Heights
Catherine Zuber, Rodgers & Hammerstein's South Pacific

So Jennifer Garner's cleavage helped Cyrano...apparently Sutton Foster could not do the same for Young Frankenstein. I think South Pacific has the most dynamic costume scheme. There's my vote.

Best Lighting Design of a Play
Kevin Adams, The 39 Steps
Howard Harrison, Macbeth
Donald Holder, Les Liaisons Dangereuses
Ann G. Wrightson, August: Osage County

I'm suddenly feeling repetitively redundant. I don't know. And deep down, I know I care.

Best Lighting Design of a Musical
Ken Billington, Sunday in the Park with George
Howell Binkley, In the Heights
Donald Holder, Rodgers & Hammerstein's South Pacific
Natasha Katz, The Little Mermaid

I CANNOT BELIEVE PASSING STRANGE WAS NOT NOMINATED IN THIS CATEGORY. THEIR LIGHTING DESIGN IS ONE OF MY FAVORITE ASPECTS OF THE PIECE. (I guess this is my trade off for the show getting a Best Musical nod. Fine. So be it.) Could Little Mermaid have a shot here? Methinks, yes. Although, I'm pulling for Sunday in the Park with George to win this one.

Best Sound Design of a Play
Simon Baker, Boeing-Boeing
Adam Cork, Macbeth
Ian Dickson, Rock 'n' Roll
Mic Pool, The 39 Steps

I think it would be hilarious if Rock 'n' Roll DIDN'T win this...

Best Sound Design of a Musical
Acme Sound Partners, In the Heights
Sebastian Frost, Sunday in the Park with George
Scott Lehrer, Rodgers & Hammerstein's South Pacific
Dan Moses Schreier, Gypsy

Again. No Passing Strange?!?!?! Sigh. Fine. Then Sunday in the Park With George. But only cause I'm pouting.

Overall thoughts: I love Passing Strange. I hate Cry-Baby. I'm proud of Xanadu. I'm in shock over the complete lack of noms for Cat on a Hot Tin Roof - I mean, James Earl Jones was BORN to play roles like Big Daddy. I'm surprised, though not unhappy, about Young Frankenstein's lack of nods. (I'm sure Megan Mullaly and Roger Bart did NOT have a good day.) I expected more nominations for the actors in 39 Steps. I'm a little surprised that Cry-Baby DIDN'T get a nomination for best scenic design. I'm not at all surprised that Susan Stroman/Young Frankenstein didn't get the choreography or best direction nods. It proves the point I made with Jerry Mitchell and Legally Blonde last year - YOU ARE HUMAN. PICK ONE AND STICK TO IT. And I'm sad that Mary Testa didn't land a nomination. I love her. A lot. And just one nod to Is He Dead? Nothing for Farnsworth Invention? Sad day.

This year made me miss stand outs like Grey Gardens and Spring Awakening. It was certainly a year for drama and NOT musicals. At least we have the 2008-2009 season to look forward to. I mean 9 to 5 AND Shrek the Musicals?!?!?! Yesssssss....

Professional children is just this way that we live

Photographic evidence that it was a fun weekend.

I haven't had a roll on home at 5 AM night in awhile! I had missed you, old friend. Operation: Stop bitching, start living appears to still be going well. I looked around at my very pretty, very fun friends and said to myself "this isn't hard." Perhaps the dreary winter months had just scared us into our warm beds and now it's time to come out and play again.

And in truth, I'd still prefer it were my life a little less lonely. A hand to hold or a warm body in bed (the cat doesn't count) sure would be nice. But maybe this is just New York. Maybe it's not about what I want. It's what I got, instead.


Forget that job, that deadline. Your friends are here, they can help remind you it's a good life. A good life. A good night to be alive.
(Andy Davis)

I miss you. I guess that I should.

I have just had two very deep thoughts for this wonderful Saturday morning.

1) You can't spell TALK without ALK. Coincidence? I think not.
b) Leggins/tights are not pants. The end.

Since this was a completely pointless post, I will leave you with the words I cannot stop speaking. Singing. Thinking. Whatever.
I'm alive.
And I don't care much for words of doom.
If it's love you need
Well.
I got the room.
(Neil Diamond)

I've got love. And love is all I really need to live.

Today's post is brought to you by the fact that I love my cat. C'est vrai. She's amazing.

Take me down, but take it easy

I can deal with a man wearing nail polish. Kilts can be sexy. Tight pants are hot. I'm a huge fan of men with long hair. And I think it's a pretty well known fact that I drool over a man in (correctly applied) eyeliner.

Suffice it to say, I'm down with androgyny.

But am I one of the only screaming mimis left that does NOT believe a man singing in his falsetto is hot? I mean, sure, an occasional yip or wail can be impressive. However, a whole song in false? No no no no no no.

Ew. And Bo Bice needs to be re-introduced to a flat iron.

(Yes. I'm watching Idol.)

And don't be surprised if I love you for all that you are.

I'm not one for margaritas. So I prepared Cinco de Mayo martinis, instead! And I must say, in terms of bartending skillz, I still got it!








Crissie says hi! And also, nomnomnom.









There's nothing like a night of tacos, martinis, and Phase 10. I felt like a young girl of 20, all over again! And just when I didn't think my good mood could soar any higher, I woke up to discover my federal refund had been dropped neatly into my checking account. So, I did what any responsible girl would do - spent $40 on makeup.
(Ladies. www.eyelipsface.com is having a ridiculous sale. Most things are $1-5. I placed my order 3 hours ago and I'm still squealing with excitement and delight.)

100 Things.

1. There are few things that gross me out more than warm cream cheese. If I have a bagel toasted, it must cool completely before cream cheese goes anywhere near it. If I see someone eating a hot bagel and I can tell the cream cheese is all melty and goopy, I start gagging.
2. I don’t like white socks. They bore me. I have an obsession (and drawer full) of fun socks. Toe socks and knee socks especially fascinate me.
3. The same rule applies to underwear. White panties are for the birds. I have exactly one pair of taupe underwear should I ever need to wear pants light in color.
4. I would rather someone ask my name multiple times than refer to me as “girl” or “you” or something else of that nature.
5. I was in a pageant in high school. I placed in the top ten. This surprised everyone but me. I wouldn’t have entered if I didn’t think I had it in me.
6. I was in a sorority in high school. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
7. I was in a sorority in college. It ranks as one of the smartest decisions I’ve ever made. Less so because of being in a sorority at the time, but more so because some of the most important people in my life happen to be my sisters. I don’t think this will ever ever ever change.
8. I used to wish, hope, and pray for curly hair. I now have curly hair. Maybe dreams really do come true. (Or maybe I just finally found the right product.)
9. If I spot a tall man with curly hair, chances are I will find him attractive.
10. I can’t stand it when people pronounce mischievous incorrectly. There is no “i” in the final syllable.
11. I’ve also been known to lecture people on the correct usage of the word tragedy. Some people try to convince me I’m wrong, and that the word has evolved past its original context. I completely disagree.
12. If I have a daughter, I want to name her Lillian Grace. Lillian after Lillian Hellman, one of the most important women to ever live. Grace, because any daughter of mine is going to need all the grace she can get, in any way she can get it. Even if I have to manually attach it into her monogram.
13. I think Dorothy Parker is one of the other most important women to ever live, but I don’t know if I’d want to name my daughter Dorothy. I like it, but she might not. Dorothy could be a hard name to pull off.
14. I haven’t decided if I want kids yet.
15. I left North Carolina because I didn’t want to be an adult and do grown up things like get married and have a career. Now, just about all I can think of is getting married.
16. Secretly, I still want to be a rock star.
17. I’m a better actor than a singer.
18. I usually have a nasty headache if I haven’t had coffee by 9 A.M. I don’t mind, though, because I could be (and have been) addicted to much worse things.
19. I don’t like to ride in the very first or very last subway car.
20. Living in New York has taught me how to read a map. But don’t tell my father. He thinks he taught me.
21. I love that in New York, you can be late for almost anything and blame the subway and no one can ever, ever argue with you.
22. I am late to almost everything. The one exception is the theatre. It is a sin of the highest degree to be late for curtain.
23. I don’t have much in common with my mother. We do have a shared affection for Simon and Garfunkel. Bridge Over Troubled Water rings when I call her.
24. My first screen name was GarfunkyAl.
25. I have discovered that I am the kind of girl that must must must love her job.
26. My sentences are usually much too long. (And often, poorly punctuated.)
27. I’m terrible at video games.
28. I have had way too many important conversations online.
29. I am almost 26 years old and have never been in a relationship.
30. I would rather not be in a relationship than be in a bad one.
31. Once, a boy I barely knew told me that he couldn’t wait to meet the man who could handle me, and shake his hand. I consider this one of the most sincere and best compliments anyone has ever given me.
32. I think Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen is a brilliant movie.
33. I can quote Monty Python and the Holy Grail just about word for word.
34. I didn’t really like Spamalot. You can’t Americanize British humor and get away with it! Not on my watch!
35. I have multiple fake boyfriends. My roommate is particularly good at keeping up with who comes on tv which night. And it doesn’t bother her at all when I ask “are you coming home for boyfriend time?”
36. I get addicted to American Idol about every other year. Last year I couldn’t have cared less. This year, David Cook is one of aforementioned fake boyfriends.
37. I find Tim Curry, Alan Cumming, and Will Arnett all simultaneously creepy and sexy.
38. I usually get addicted to tv shows after they go off the air. Like Sex and the City and Arrested Development.
39. My friends gave me the complete Sex and the City series before I moved to New York. I watch at least one episode a day.
40. I like gerber daisies best because they’re loud and clash with themselves. Just like me.
41. I think I have a girl-crush on Parker Posey.
42. New York has helped me conquer my alone-a-phobia.
43. Just because I’m no longer afraid to be alone doesn’t mean I like it. (And I don’t think I ever will.)
44. My life got instantly better the day I quit apologizing for being me.
45. I like dorks. A lot.
46. I used to hate green beans. Then I realized there are other ways to cook them besides boiling them to a mushy green goo. Now I eat green beans on an almost daily basis.
47. There was a time in my life when I weighed 75 pounds more than I do right now.
48. I’m still working to lose another 50 pounds.
49. I dance ok, for a chunky white girl.
50. I like kissing men with scruff because it tickles and makes me giggle.
51. I usually laugh while kissing. (Well, I usually laugh while doing most things.) I’ve learned this tends to alarm men. Whoops.
52. I wish I could draw. Or paint. Or sculpt. Or something artistic.
53. Sometimes, I dream in cartoon.
54. The SuperBowl is one of the saddest days of the year, because it means no more football for about 6 months.
55. Though I now consider myself a Carolina Girl, I will defend Alabama on two grounds: barbeque and college football.
56. I did not own a real pair of jeans until the 6th grade. Prior to that, they all had an elastic waistband. Ah, the sordid tales of a fat kid.
57. Funfetti is far and away the best kind of cake in existence.
58. Tanning booths don’t make me tan. They make me orange. This is good knowledge to have, should I ever be cast as an oompa loompa.
59. I used to tell people I was going to be the Cat Lady when I grew up. This was a defense mechanism. I no longer plan for my life to pan out that way.
60. In 7th grade, I told my science class that my parents were giving me liposuction for Christmas.
61. There was a time in my life when I didn’t know the difference between positive and negative attention. To me, attention was attention, and I sought it in whatever way I could.
62. When I retire, I want to move to Savannah. I hope some of my best friends do, too.
63. I still get a huge kick out of slumber parties.
64. I read the missed connections on Craigslist mostly as a laugh. But an eensy, weensy part of me always wonders if there’s anyone out there, trying to reach me.
65. I was obsessed with being a meteorologist as a kid. Then I realized that would involve lots of science and math classes and I quickly changed my mind.
66. I cry when I pray.
67. I cry when I throw up.
68. I cry when I’m frustrated.
69. I cry at Disney movies, but rarely any others.
70. I feel like most (acting) roles that I would be good for, I’m too young for. This gives me incredible hope for the future.
71. I have a completely ridiculous memory for song lyrics. If I’ve heard it, I can probably sing it.
72. There’s a really fun game I like to play in which you give me a situation and I find a song lyric to match it. And usually, sing it to you.
73. The Tennessee Williams Classics boxed set that my aunt and uncle gave me for Christmas a couple years ago ranks as one of the best gifts I have ever received.
74. I will play a Tennessee Williams heroine before I die. I just know it. The same rule applies for a Lillian Hellman character.
75. I don’t know if I have it in me to play a Eugene O’Neill character. This doesn’t really concern or upset me.
76. I still like to read Roald Dahl books.
77. If I feel ugly, I am automatically in a bad mood. It is for this reason that I’ve been labeled “high maintenance.”
78. High maintenance does not mean superficial.
79. I’m going to Greece on my honeymoon.
80. I have never stayed overnight in a hospital.
81. I still have an Atari system.
82. I kind of want to paint or dye my cowboy boots purple. Does anyone know the best way to go about this?
83. I get shy about the most ridiculous things. Like approaching a host stand to request a table, or going to the post office. Yeah, I don’t know either.
84. I hate fish. Unless it’s raw. Sushi, I love.
85. Vegetables should also be raw, for maximum Alison consumption.
86. I hate olives. I want to like them, so I can look sexy with a dirty martini or put one on each finger and be silly before eating them.
87. I still want to learn to play the piano.
88. I still want to be fluent in French.
89. Even when texting, I refuse to shorten you to u or any other such nonsense.
90. Even when IMing, I refuse to write LOL. I just say “hahaha.”
91. I’ve seen Kelly Clarkson in concert.
92. I’m at least 30-40% gray. But you probably don’t know this because I’ve been dying my hair since 8th grade. And frankly, the thought of being gray doesn’t really bother me. I’m just trying to figure out how to gracefully grow it out.
93. Sometimes, on a really pretty morning, I have to suppress the urge to shout “Hello, World!” and jump off my front porch and into the day.
94. I can’t wait to have a real front porch, complete with a swing and some rocking chairs.
95. I’m a firm believer that you need at least 10 hugs a day to be happy and healthy. I usually fall short of this mark, but it’s always nice to have something to aspire to.
96. Prior to living in New York, I hated summer. Now I hate winter.
97. I am completely guilty of taking dumbass self-portraits. All. The. Time.
98. I grew up in Alabama, yet have never set foot in Mississippi. Or Louisiana. I find this absolutely bizarre.
99. I get a huge kick out of drinking red wine from large goblets. There is just something so wonderful about a truly large, bulbous wine glass.
100. I love that I had to move out of Charlotte to discover I belong there. I love knowing that I belong somewhere, period.

I want you between me and the feeling I get when I miss you.

Ok. I've fallen back in love with New York City. It's official. Last night I shared this here bottle of red (and some veal and some lobster carbonara and some tiramisu) with my good friend Sean. Afterwards, I literally could not wipe a silly grin off my face as I rode the subway home. I'm sure the other passengers questioned my mental stability, but I was just too busy being happy to stop. Or care.



And then it hit me. Life is good.